Thanksgiving: Turk Style AKA Completely Screwed Up
by Different Perspective
Summary: Thanksgiving for the Turks and Rufus Shinra. After all, even they celebrate that holiday...With a lot of mishaps and breaking most traditions in very different ways. Implied TsengElena, after AC.


Disclaimer: Don't own anything, all characters go to Square-Enix  
Timeline: After Advent Children  
Pairings: Tseng/Elena  
Warnings: OOCness, cause I suck at writing people in character. Sorry for making Reno seem a little dumb in this fic, I know he is smarter than he looks.  
Notes: I don't know if turkeys exist in their world, but whatever. I'm sorry if you do eat the side dishes mentioned in this fic during Thanksgiving as tradition, I don't mean to offend anyone. This fic will probably be corny.

On Thanksgiving, joyous families get together to celebrate what they are thankful for. They get together, have fun, and eat a great feast. It is a time for celebration, happiness, and family bonding.

At least, for most people.

Birds were chirping in the early morning, signaling that a new day has begun. It was the day of Thanksgiving, but no one in the Healin Lodge really gave a damn about it.

And when I mean the people in the Healin Lodge, I am talking about Rufus Shinra and his Turks. These particular people didn't really care about Thanksgiving because all of them didn't really have a family to celebrate with.

With the exception of a certain blonde haired woman.

"GOOD MORNING!" Elena chirped loudly as she walked into the main living room in the Healin Lodge. Everyone was awake, although in varying levels.

"Morning…" Reno yawned as he stretched on the couch. A quick nod from Rude acknowledged Elena's greeting. Rufus didn't answer since he didn't have his cup of coffee yet.

Cause Rufus Shinra wasn't human until he had has morning coffee.

He just slowly walked towards the coffee machine with his hair sticking out all over the place. Tseng, the ever dressed and polite one, greeted Elena back.

"Good morning, Elena."

Elena smiled widely at Tseng, her idol and the man she secretly loved. Clearing her throat, she decided to make her announcement

"Guys! What should we do for Thanksgiving? We have no food or turkey! It is supposed to be a celebration!

That statement got her stares from everyone in the room, including Rufus, who just drank his cup of coffee.

"W-what? Did I say something wrong?" Elena had no idea what she said that made the men to become silent like that. She celebrated Thanksgiving with her family before she became a Turk. All of them looked like they never heard of such a holiday.

Rude shifted uncomfortably, ready to explain when Reno cut in.

"Well, Elena, not all of us came from great and happy families. Tseng's and Rude's parents are dead…While the boss and I came from, well…. dysfunctional families."

Rude nodded his head while Rufus scowled at the mention of his screwed up family life, or more accurately the lack of it.

Tseng swore that the tension rose up so high, that one could cut the air with a knife. Wanting to break the silence, Tseng decided to speak up for Elena.

"Well, maybe celebrating Thanksgiving now will be a good experience for all of us. It will allow us to see the true spirit of Thanksgiving and maybe feel what a traditional family experiences."

Elena smiled widely at Tseng; she really wanted to celebrate with the rest of her friends.

Rude made no comment, although he looked ready to agree. Reno shrugged his shoulders, not really caring if they had Thanksgiving or not.

Tseng then looked at Rufus, "Well, what do you think, sir?"

Breathing out slowly, Rufus muttered a small "alright" before grumbling again.

"ALRIGHT! Let's get started! Tseng, you are the best cook of all of us. Can you make the pumpkin pie, mashed potatoes, and other side dishes."?

"Of course Elena, will you be assisting in helping me?"

Elena so badly wanted to say yes, but she wanted to surprise Tseng with her turkey. So she shook her head, stating that she will get the turkey.

Tseng nodded, then turned to Rude, asking him if he would help carry the ingredients from the store and help with the cooking.

Rude nodded, with a small smile on his lips.

"Alright then, we'll see you guys later." Tseng stated as he and Rude walked out of the building. Elena started to formulate all the different ways she can impress Tseng with the turkey she'll cook.

"Hey Elena…What can me and Rufus do?" Reno asked. Elena bit her lip; Rufus and Reno had some of the worst cooking she had ever seen in her life. Not wanting them to stand around and do nothing, she came up with a great idea.

"I know! You two can help me catch a wild turkey in the fields! With the three of us, we are bound to get a turkey in time!"

Reno clicked his tongue and nodded, "Sure, sounds easy enough."

"I guess I can take a day off from planning to rebuild and do something new…." Rufus blandly said.

"Alright! Let's go guys!" Elena said as she, Reno, and Rufus walked out of the Healin Lodge.

---------

Tseng sighed as he grabbed some food and placed them into his shopping cart. He honestly never made pumpkin pie and had no idea what side dishes went along with turkey, since he never celebrated Thanksgiving before.

"Do you know what side dishes that go along with turkey?" Tseng asked the other Turk.

He only got a negative response. Tseng let out a frustrated sigh and just shoved a bunch of food into the cart, filling it to the max. After all, if he cooked everything he knew, there is a great chance that one of them will be an excellent side dish.

--------

"This look like a great place to hunt for turkeys!" Elena shouted as they arrived at an open field

"Wouldn't it be easier if we just bought a turkey from the market?" Reno asked as he stretched.

"Yes, but I want our turkey to be fresh! It will taste better that way!"

"Whatever you say."

"At any rate, it will be best to split, so that way we can find a turkey faster. We are all strong enough to fend for ourselves." Rufus said as he took out his shotgun. "Besides, it's been a while since I was able to move freely without the wheelchair…Shooting at turkeys sounds like a great way to relieve stress."

Reno nodded, "I can't wait! First one to catch a turkey gets free booze!" And with that, Reno and Rufus ran off in different directions.

Elena huffed while placing her hands on her hips. "Those two are just boys with big toys! Good thing Tseng is more mature than both of them." She then walked off to find a turkey in the field.

--------

Reno whistled as he tapped his EMR on his shoulder. Killing a turkey sounds easy, but actually finding one is harder then he expected. He has been walking around for a half an hour now, and still hasn't found any turkeys. Sighing, it seems that he won't be able to get that free booze today.

Behind him, he heard a twig snap in half.

Bingo.

Quickly turning around, Reno finally spotted dinner.

The turkey looked up from the twig that it stepped on and looked at Reno with big round eyes. "Gobble, gobble."

Dead silence. Leaves blew by.

"Oh no, that little innocent look won't work on me!" Reno shouted while he turned on his EMR. "YOU ARE MINE!!"

The poor turkey then ran as fast it could with an evil Turk behind him. "JUST BECAUSE THE "TURKS" ARE A PART OF YOUR NAME, DOESN'T MEAN I WON'T KILL YOU!!!!"

----------

Rufus looked at the lone turkey, pecking at the ground, minding its own business. The blonde raised his shotgun and took aim.

"This is almost too easy…"

BANG!

The bullet hit its mark, going straight through the leg of the turkey. The wild bird screeched in pain before moving flying and stumbling all across the field.

Aiming his shotgun again, Rufus shot at the turkey, only this time, missing because all of the movement the turkey was doing.

"Damn bird! Hold still!"

The turkey moved about wildly, dodging the bullets while screeching out in pain. Rufus grumbled while aiming his shotgun.

"I'll just wait until it gets tired…. Then I'll blast it off the ground."

-----------

Elena smiled sweetly at the turkey, which was staring straight at her.

"It's okay, mommy Elena won't hurt you. I'm just giving you some food for you to eat. See?" Elena cooed as she held out greens in her hand. Suspicious, the turkey slowly walked towards the Turk, unable to resist the greens. Elena still smiled at the turkey and held her hand out further.

"It's okay, just eat some greens."

Relaxed that the human won't hurt him, the turkey started eating out of Elena's hand. The blonde smiled while she took out a HUGE butcher knife behind her back.

"Say thanks!"

The turkey looked up a second too late as a big butcher knife came down on his head.

---------

Tseng sighed as he laid out all of the ingredients in the kitchen. He told Rude to make the mash potatoes while he cooked the rest of the side dishes.

"Well, if I can't make pumpkin pie, I'll just make food that is traditional to Wutai." So with that, the black haired Turk started to cut the lobsters, crabs, and other seafood…

Rude said nothing as he smashed the potatoes with his fists.

---------

"I SWEAR THAT I'M GOING TO ENJOY EATING YOU TONIGHT!!!!" Reno shouted as he chased the turkey all over the field.

Gobble gobble.

"Don't gobble me! You little runt!"

If this is the reason why his family didn't celebrate Thanksgiving, he can finally see the reason why. Finally catching up to the turkey, Reno jumped on the poor bird making both of them fall to the ground.

"I GOT YOU NOW!" Reno shouted, almost insanely with wide eyes. The turkey tried calling out one more time before Reno stuck his EMR in its mouth.

"I hoped you said your prayers, _dinner_." And with that, Reno turned his EMR to full power and pressed the button, making an electrical shock go through the turkey.

Unfortunately for Reno, overkill can be a bad thing.

The bird exploded from the power, leaving a mess on Reno and the field around him. The only thing that was really left was the foot of a right leg.

"Oh sh…" Reno said as he held the foot in his hand.

--------

After a few minutes of pointless running, the injured turkey fell on the ground exhausted.

"About time…." Rufus muttered as he aimed his shotgun. He fired at the bird 5 more times; to make sure he was dead for good.

The turkey laid dead, with blood pooling around it. Rufus smirked and put his shotgun away. The ex-president walked towards the dead fowl and grabbed it by the neck, not really caring that its body had 5 shotgun shells in it

"This should be good enough…"

---------

Elena hummed to herself as she carried her headless turkey. It was easy, but she felt bad for killing it like that. But she had to; she must impress Tseng with her wonderful cooking skills!

The blonde finally saw Reno and Rufus walk towards her. She called out to them, stating that she got her turkey. Both men greeted Elena, then looked at each other's turkey, or what is left of it, strangely.

Elena felt her eyebrow rise as she saw a lone foot in Reno's hand. "Reno, do I even want to know what happened to that poor thing?"

Reno just raised his hands, "It was being difficult. Can't we do anything with the foot?" Elena gave a sigh and nodded, "I can probably make something out of it…. But you need to take a shower first. You smell and look like turkey guts."

"Yes ma'am."

"Elena, are you able to make something out of the turkey I caught?" Rufus asked as he showed her his bullet filled turkey.

The female Turk had to resist the urge to pull out her hair. How hard was it for those two to get a normal turkey?!

"Well, we can't use the body, since it has five bullet shells in it…We can use the neck and up though, since no bullets reached there." Elena responded while pulling out her big butcher knife. She chopped off the head of the turkey and kicked the now headless turkey away.

Reno silently gave the turkey foot to Elena, not trusting himself to talk when she had a butcher knife in her hand. Holding the neck and foot in one hand and her turkey in the other, Elena declared that she now can cook some turkey for dinner this evening.

"I'm going to cook it in an oven at the Healin Lodge. You two make sure that Tseng is not in the kitchen when I make it."

"Sure!"

"Whatever."

"Alright, let's go!" Elena shouted as the three of them walked back towards the lodge.

Tseng crossed his arms as he stared at his now completed side dishes. They all smelled great and couldn't wait until Elena tried them tonight, not that he would admit that out loud. He put the side dishes onto the table, next to Rude's mashed potatoes.

"WE'RE BACK!" He heard Elena call out from the main door. Tseng and Rude walked greeted all of them, noticing how Elena held something behind her back and Reno was covered with…crap.

"Okay, I'm going to cook my turkey! I don't want Tseng to see the turkey alright? I want it to be a surprise!" Elena told the others as she walked into the kitchen.

"Yes, Elena." Tseng said as he eyed Reno strangely. Rude stared at his partner, scrunching up his nose from Reno's smell.

"Reno, take a shower. You smell like you came from the sewer." Rufus stated while looking at the side dishes at the table. He didn't have Thanksgiving, so he wouldn't complain about the dishes…although, even to him, the side food seemed odd for this occasion.

Reno mocked saluted before he marched up the stairs to take a shower.

---------

Elena smiled as she got out ingredients for her turkey. She was going to add stuffing into the main body while the foot and head-neck will be plain with just some seasoning.

"Alright! This will be great!" And with that, the blonde started to cook.

------------

After quite some time, Reno got out of the shower, smelling and looking a lot better. All four of them waited in the main room, waiting for Elena to finish cooking the turkey.

"Hey boss, who gets the booze?"

"Obviously, we don't know since we all saw each other with a turkey at the same time. Although, you don't count, since a _foot _doesn't count as a turkey." Rufus told him.

"WHAT?! But that's not fair! You shouldn't get it either! Elena could only use the neck and above since you shot it like five times!"

"I didn't say I was getting the booze, now did I? Elena is probably the one getting the booze, though she is too occupied to get it at the moment."

Rude shifted uncomfortably, wondering what the hell Reno and Rufus did to the birds. Tseng, the ever-calm one, made a suggestion.

"Why don't we just split the booze between the five of us this evening? We will all just drink it tonight."

Reno gave a sigh, but agreed, muttering about how he wanted the booze to himself.

"Fine by me…Elena will probably agree, since you are the one to make the suggestion." Rufus responded.

-----------

Elena sighed happily as she leaned on the counter, waiting for the turkey to be cooked. Everything was already made, and the only thing she needed to do was wait for the turkey to be cooked.

'I can't wait until Tseng tries this.' Elena whispered as she thought about all the different ways she can feed it to her idol. This will be the day when she admits her love to him!

Wanting to tell the others that the turkey was almost done, she walked out of the kitchen and greeted the other occupants.

"Guys! The turkey is almost done! We just have to wait for two more hours!"

Rude nodded while sitting at the table. Tseng smiled at Elena, sitting across from Rude, who was sitting next to Reno. "Elena, would you like to sit down? We might as well eat the food we have now until the turkey is ready."

Elena nodded and sat down next to Tseng, looking at the side dishes Tseng made.

She resisted the urge to sweatdrop.

There on the table, was lobster, crap, sushi, shrimp, noodles, octopus, squid, rice, and mashed potatoes on the side. Most of them were foods not traditionally eaten for Thanksgiving.

"They all look….wonderful!" Elena smiled at the Wutaian. Tseng smiled back, happy that Elena liked the food. "Rude made the mashed potatoes though."

Rude nodded his head.

"Anyways, is there anything special we do during Thanksgiving? Or do we just eat?" Rufus asked, who sat at the front of the table.

"YEAH! WE GET THE BOOZE!" Reno shouted as he got up from his chair. "Can I get it now?"

Elena made a frustrated sigh and nodded. "Go ahead Reno." Reno then walked into the kitchen. He grabbed some beer and other alcoholic drinks from the refrigerator before looking at the oven where Elena's turkey was being cooked.

"So…It's almost done right? Just two more hours…" Reno looked at the temperature it was cooking at, 200 degrees. "So if I turned it to 400 degrees…it will be done in 1 hour!" The red head then turned the temperature to 400, not knowing of the damage he just did. He walked back to the table and placed the bottles of alcohol in the middle.

"Anyways, before we should start eating. We should all say something that we are thankful for!" Elena explained.

Crickets chirp. Chirp Chirp Chirp.

Clearing her throat, Elena decided to go first. "Well, I'm thankful for…having you guys with me. To celebrate Thanksgiving with, even though we are all not blood related."

Reno, feeling confident, decided to go next. "Well, I'm thankful for the booze we have!"

Elena just gave him a really evil glare.

"I'm joking! I am thankful for having people I can stick around, yo. Having fun, drinking booze, and just being a Turk!"

"…I am thankful that I have a partner in crime, someone I can rely on." Rude said quietly.

"Thanks Rude, I promise I'll buy ya another pair of sunglasses!"

"I'm thankful that my father is dead." Rufus said.

"……."

The Turks swore that the temperature in the room just dropped a few degrees. "Aren't you thankful for anything else sir." Tseng asked.

"No."

"C'mon! There's got to be something!"

"Not really."

"……" Rude stared at his boss. Rufus stared back.

"GAAAAAH! SAY SOMETHING THAT YOU ARE THANKFUL FOR THAT DOESN'T INVOLVE SOMEONE DEAD!" Elena shouted out.

More silence.

Rufus stared at his lap before talking quickly and almost silently, "I'm thankful for having you guys still loyal to me….even after I'm not the president anymore."

The Turks heard what he said, but decided not to comment, not wanting to invoke the boss's anger. But they were all glad that Rufus did have something to be thankful for.

Not wanting the silence to continue, Tseng decided to go on. "And I am thankful-…is that burning I smell?"

Noticing the black smoke coming from the kitchen, Elena jumped out of her seat and rushed in. "No! My turkey! What happened to it?!" The Turk shouted as she got her oven mittens and turned off the oven.

She pulled the turkey tray from the oven, only to see everything burnt. "It's ruined! My turkey….it's gone….not editable at all…..what could have gone wrong…." She looked at the temperature, 400 degrees, twice the amount she originally had.

"WHAT?! I didn't set it at that temperature! And no one went into the kitchen after me! Except……RENO!!!!" Elena screamed out as she stomped back into the main room with the burnt turkey tray in her hands.

"WHY DID YOU CHANGE THE TEMPERATURE?! IT IS NOW MESSED UP THANKS TO YOU!!"

Reno swallowed, "Look Elena, I-I didn't know! I'm bad at cooking remember? Besides, isn't this supposed to be Thanksgiving? Giving thanks and not killing me?"

"YOU'LL BE LUCKY IF YOU STILL HAD YOUR FAMILY JEWELS LEFT AFTER I AM DONE WITH YOU!!!! I WORKED SO HARD TO IMPRESS TSENG WITH MY TUREKY!!"

Tseng, not wanting Elena to kill Reno or dismember him, quickly tried to calm her down. "Elena, I am honored that you went through such lengths to make a turkey that impresses me. Just for trying that hard and seeing your devotion, already impressed me more than a simple turkey can do."

Elena smiled widely at him before tossing the turkey and its tray in the trash. She tossed her oven mitts before hugging Tseng. "Thank you….Tseng." Tseng smiled down at her before breaking the hug, not wanting to start something in front of the other guys.

"Now that is clear, shall we eat?" Rufus asked.

"How can you be so clam about that?! I almost got killed by Elena's anger!" Reno shouted.

"Hmm, well that would have been rather unfortunate. But everything seems fine now, so we might as well eat."

"…."

"You're horrible, being emotionless when I'm in danger like that." Reno faked sniffed before digging into the odd, but tasty side dishes.

Tseng and Elena sat down again before digging into the meal. Everyone grabbed food from the different side dishes and poured alcohol for themselves.

And even though there was no turkey to eat… Even if the side dishes were odd and not traditional in a normal Thanksgiving…or the fact that Rufus almost strangled Reno for spilling beer on his white outfit… or Reno and Rude got so drunk that both of them passed out on their chairs…. And even if they didn't have any family members to celebrate with…

They still had a great Thanksgiving. They all had fun, laughed, and celebrated like how a traditional family would. Even if none of them there were related by blood, each of them considered the other as family. They were their own family and acted like one, blood did not change that fact and never could.

END

Extra:

After the Thanksgiving feast with Reno and Rude snoring on their chairs, Elena patted her stomach and sighed in content. "That was good…."

Tseng, the only other one awake since Rufus fell asleep on the couch nearby, smiled at her. "Thanks Elena, I'm glad you liked the food I made, even if they were odd for this dinner."

"Naw, it was good. That is all what matters. Like how none of us are related, but we can still enjoy Thanksgiving together."

Tseng nodded in agreement before speaking, "Elena…I never said what I was thankful for…"

Elena blinked at him. "What are you thankful for, Tseng?"

"I am thankful….That you are here with me, as a Turk, a friend….And maybe a…" Tseng trailed on as moved closer to Elena.

"Maybe a….." Elena mumbled as she moved closer to Tseng.

"A love-"

CLICK CLICK!

Both Turks looked up as they saw flashes of light from above. Reno and Rude smiled at them, holding camera phones.

"That was a great picture." Reno stated. Rude nodded in agreement.

Tseng and Elena's jaws dropped. "We thought you guys were asleep!"

"We were, but the Turks and I can sense if worthy blackmail material is nearby, so we instantly woke up." Rufus explained with a video camera in his hand.

Elena jumped up instantly, "YOU THREE RUINED MY MOMENT WITH TSENG AGAIN!!! I'M GOING TO BREAK YOUR PHONES AND CAMERA, THEN MAKE SURE THAT NONE OF YOU HAVE ANY CHILDREN IN THE FUTURE!!!"

So as Tseng watched Elena chase the other three guys around the Healin Lodge, he smiled to himself and whispered the last word to himself.

"….lover…."

THE END


End file.
